One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast .She brings me only one piece.
I tell her "I wanna two pieces". She say "Go to the toilet".
I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate".
She say to me: "you better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch".
I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!!

Later, I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knief, but no fock.
I tell her "I wanna a fock" and she tella me : "everyone wanna fuck".
I tella her " you don't undertsand...I wanna fock on the table".
She say : "you better not fuck on the table you sonnawabitch."

So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed.
I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet". he tell me to Go the toilet.
I say "you don't understand I wanna a sheet on my bed".
He say:"you better not shit on the bed, you sonnawabitch".

I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said " peace on you".
and I say : " Piss on you too, you sonnawabicth".

I gonna back to Italy!