warning: a terrible bug in unix systems threatens to bring down the entire internet, thereby destroying all the economies of the world. then the entire world will revert to a primal state it hasn't seen since the 70's. you see, unix timestamps will only handle dates up to january 19, 2038 at 3:14:07 a.m. gmt. after that moment, all unix timestamps will revert to december 13, 1901 at 8:45:52 p.m. gmt.

don't worry, though, there are many things you can do to make sure you're better off than everyone else:

• stock up on canned goods galore. but not now. wait until about 3 days before the disaster date then buy as many canned goods as you can find.
• build a bomb shelter. with the downfall of the internet, the nuclear missle silos around the world will be cutoff from the rest of the world. eventually, the isolation will drive the workers mad and they will detonate the warheads to end their madness.
• believe all of the bad stuff you hear is going to happen, especially what you see on television or the internet. television doesn't lie.
• if you see a riot, join in. if not, start a riot. the computer companies need to know that we aren't happy about the bug they let slip through.
• panic. panic like you've panicked before.