As the tears glide down my face,
A similar path is etched across my heart.
My porcelain mask of happiness has become cracked.
Pain...Guilt...Anger flow freely from there weak imprisonment.
Pain of loving someone, then losing them.
Anger at one's self for being blind to the warning signs.
Guilt for one's mistakes.
But mostly regret... that this once beautiful blossom of love has lost its magical glow.
The tears come stronger now.
Just realizing how much I love you, yet losing you at the same time.
Weren't we in each other's arms a moment ago?
That moment is now long gone.
The remnants of your touch, lingering in my bitterness.
Each excruciating moment of separateness is enforced with each tick of the clock.
The once swift passage of happiness drags onto an eternity of pain.
In a sea of tears and depression, I find no solace.
The dark waters engulf me and I can no longer cope.
The struggle has been long and hard.
Darkness surrounds me.
There is no distinction between pain and loneliness.
It is now one.
Now, there are no tears...... Just Numbness.
-Cynthia Melissa Abundabar
1-30-94