Just a few deep thoughts....by Steven Wright...and even more!
 
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
 
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
 
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with,
"Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
 
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
 
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans.
 
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older, then it dawned on me . . they were cramming for their
finals...
 
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons
and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
 
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
they delivered the mail?
 
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
 
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
OTHERS here for?
 
Clones are people two.
 
Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that everything will turn out
OK.
 
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
 
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
 
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that
considered a hostage situation?
 
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
 
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone.
I said, "The whole time."
 
So what's the speed of dark?
 
How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been
dissing them anyhow?
 
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
 
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are
furious.
 
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
 
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
 
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak?
 
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
 
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?